Blog Banter #7 – The me I am not

Welcome to the seventh installment of the EVE Blog Banter , the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux . The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed here . Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

This month’s topic comes to us from yours truly, and I ask: “What three things haven’t you done in EVE and why? Would you be willing to try one day? Why so? Why not?“

Cytral stared at those of us remaining in Freeform Industries’ Directorship; the number was far less than it had been a month ago. There was a heavy, somber mood filling the meeting room; morale had been low, corporate activities few and far between. Cytral refused to admit it was the end, rather, it was an opportunity for rebirth, to build up the corp anew. Cytral always was the eternal optimist. His attitude was infectious however, and several of the remaining directors were hopeful for better times. I was not one of them.

“Ok, we’re going to need to start cross-training to fill the gaps we’re experiencing, meaning we all may have to do things we’re not entirely comfortable with.” Cytral started.

“First up, is we need a new Industrial Director. With Wordsworth resigning from that position, we’re really feeling the impact financially. Roc, I know you understand the market, and have anonymous contacts for that. Would you be willing to try some industry directly?”

Everyone looked to me, enthusiasm in their eyes.

I shook my head in the negative. “Not my thing, Cy. I have no interest in becoming a factory foreman; my skills are better put to use elsewhere. Best I can do is offer up some datacores to the corp; I’ve got no use for them anyway.”

Cytral nodded. “Alright then. What about assisting Freyla with our mining operations? It’s overwhelming her a bit, and I’m sure you’d enjoy some more Freyla time.” He smirked, and the rest of the directors chuckled.

Freyla Tae was indeed someone I had flirted with since joining Freeform. Then again, so was Cytral until I discovered that despite his soft features and silky hair he was really a guy. Freyla had never responded to my flirtations (though Cy had initially), whether out of awkwardness or simply understanding it was meant lightheartedly I never knew. Besides, my heart was placed elsewhere.

Again, I shook my head emphatically.

“Never even strapped a mining laser onto a hull, Cy; to me that would be an abomination. I fly combat ships. Can’t we just send out some drones for that mind numbing work?” I asked sarcastically.

Cytral sighed. “You’re not making this easy, Roc. We need the help. I need the help. It won’t be permanent; I just need you to roll up your sleeves and give a bit more. Can you do this for me?” Cytral was always one to bear open honesty without ulterior motive. Some misread it as manipulation through guilt, but that wasn’t it. He was just a guy that didn’t like to play games. I respected that.

“What else you got, boss?” I asked.

“Well, what about taking on a more active role in the corporation? I could promote you, give you a fancy title, grant you administrative rights over our hangar bays and monthly managings. That has to be something that interests you, no?” He was starting to sound a little annoyed. Who wouldn’t want more power and influence within a corporation, to be handed the keys to the kingdom so to speak?

I genuinely felt bad at what I said next, but the words were meant.

“I’m just a soldier, Cy. I have no interest in power for power’s sake. I’ve always enjoyed my freedom here to come and go as I please, to do what is required of me without question. You know my military duties are often given with short notice, which makes me somewhat unreliable for any real corporate responsibilities. Being in a more senior position will just put me under more scrutiny, bog me down in a bureaucracy I’m not even interested in. I really am sorry, but I have to decline.”

Cytral stared at me, unblinking, for several moments. I wasn’t sure if it was disappointment I saw, anger, or simple acceptance and processing of what I had said, but the growing silence was becoming awkward.

“Alright, we’ll come back to how you can help, Roc. Anyone else willing to…” Cytral’s voice began to fade to my ears.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like Freeform; they had done so much for me and were all wonderful people. I really was just starting to feel that I had outgrown the corp, that my place was elsewhere, that there was more out there for me. Taking on added responsibilities here would just stifle me, tie me down to a commitment I would honour yet retain bitterness and resentment towards. I didn’t think that was healthy for any of the involved parties.

The words of Shakor and Gigaer came to my mind again, words I have heard from many others throughout my life, Live up to your potential. Such a simple sentence, such a daunting life long endeavour.

Maybe one day I would be in a position of power and authority; maybe one day I would be a senior director of a corporation; maybe one day I would be a miner or an industrialist, but not today.

List of participants:

One Man and His Spaceship, Blog Banter 7 – Expanding My Horizon

I am Keith Neilson, EVE Blog Banter #7 – What do you want to do today?

Rifter Drifter, Blog Banter 7: Trinity

Roc’s Ramblings, Blog Banter #7 – The me I am not

Morphisat’s Blog, Eve Blog banter #7 – Treading waters unknown

Sweet Little Bad Girl, Blog Banter 7 – Roads Not Followed

A Mule in EvE, DD, defend against a gank & POS gunning

Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Choices

The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, “One, Two, Three…three things….hahahahaha”

The Ralpha Dogs, Road Not Taken… Or Not

Melindhra’s Universe, EVE Blog Banter #7 – Where no one has gone before

Life in Low Sec, Blog Banter #7: Possibilities

EVE Guru, EVE Blog Banter 7

More coming as they are posted!!!